We all experience feelings of betrayal at some point. Most often these feelings are prompted by the action or inaction of someone in whom we have placed faith or expectations. There are those times, like what I am feeling right now, when the betrayal comes not only from what the person has done, but also from their timing, delivery & attitude. There are those people in our lives who can cut us to the quick with an insensitive word, a careless gesture or a forgotten promise.
One of those people in my life has made a conscience choice to betray me. I am sure he has reasons that to him seem logical and rational. But that does not change the fact that he has chosen to take actions and behave in ways that he has to know will hurt me and leave me feeling rejected, angry and betrayed. While I know I can not change what he is doing or his unknown reasons for doing this, I can not help but hope that he does know the affect he is having on me and that he feels some sense of responsibility and remorse.
So what do we do when these people stomp on our minds and our hearts? Do we lash back, withdrawn with whimpers, stand our ground? It is so hard to know because the betrayal comes with pain, uncertainty, insecurity. So who can tell me how to deal with the feelings I have right now? With my desire to yell and scream, to cry foul at the actions of my betrayer while knowing full well that none of these actions will change anything. How do I release these emotions in a constructive manner? How do I deal with this person from this point on, knowing that they have become untrustworthy in my eyes and heart? How do I accept that this person in whom I had placed such trust and caring can respect and care about me so little?