I am a Military Brat ….

This was passed on to me by an Army Brat friend. It so clearly expresses what is in my heart also

I am a Military Brat

My hometown is nowhere, my friends are everywhere. I grew up with the knowledge that home is where the heart is and the family….

Mobility is my way of life. Some would wonder about roots, yet they are as deep and strong as the mighty oak. I sink them quickly, absorbing all an area offers and hopefully, giving enrichment in return.

Travel has taught me to be open. Shaking hands with the universe, I find brotherhood in all men. Farewells are never easy. Yet, even in sorrow comes strength and ability to face tomorrow with anticipation….if when we leave one place, I feel that half my world is left behind. I also know that the other half is waiting to be met.

Friendships are formed in hours and kept for decades. I will never grow up with someone, but I will mature with many. Be it inevitable that paths part, there is constant hope that they will meet again.

Love of country, respect and pride fill my being when Old Glory passes in review. When I stand to honor that flag, so also do I stand in honor of all soldiers, and most especially, to the parents whose lives created mine. Because of this, I have shared in the rich heritage of Military life.


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How do I make the world a better place …

I try every day by spreading smiles, appreciation, and putting a little "gratitude in my attitude".    I offer random acts of kindness and help whenever possible to whomever possible.  But all of these things are just part of my character, ingrained in me since childhood as the right thing to do.  The things that I have tried to instill in my children so that they too will feel the need, the wonder and the joy of helping others and making their small mark on the world.

I also do something that is a little more personal.  There is a history of breast cancer in my family, so I participate in the Susan G. Komen For the Cure Breast Cancer 3-Day.   Rather than repeat all of the reasons, I'll just ask you to take a look here…




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Things we believed as kids, part 1

This is going to be a periodic post about the things we believed as children and young adults – or at least some of the things I believed…. Dear reader, please excuse how rambling and disconnected some of these thoughts may seem, they are more words from the heart than the head…  I was having a conversation the other day with a very dear friend that I had not seen or talked to in a very, very long time.  Our reminiscing brought up some thoughts that have been the inspiration for this and probably a lot of posts to come ….

Like a lot of kids, I used to believe that the older people were, the better decisions that they made.  Every year we got smarter and made better, more reasoned decisions. My parents and grandparents were the smartest of all.  Of course, you only believe that part until you are about 16, then you are not so sure, but you still want to believe.  LOL

Of course I believed that the older you were the better decisions you made, I was raised/conditioned (whatever you want to call it)  to believe that, even more than so than "civilian" (non-military) kids. Not only did we (military brats, in general) have the normal childhood/young adult trust & belief in those older than us, but the hierarchy system we grew up in significantly reinforced that.  The older you were, the higher rank you were likely to be, so you must be smarter and more trustworthy.   I still struggle with that mindset sometimes.  There were so many very different, both good and bad, things about the way we as military brats were raised and the environment we were exposed to, it should be expected that we would have a slightly skewed vision of life.


Our views on relationships, marriage and family are just one example of that.  When we were kids, how many of our military friends were divorced or single parents in comparison to the norm? I don't know the percentages, but I would imagine it is significantly lower.  My take is that we were given some false impressions of what marriage and family should be about.  A lot of us had parents who behind closed doors hated each other or were miserable together, but because of what the military expected of them and the benefits of the military lifestyle (especially the officers) they would never consider splitting up.  Even those of us who had parents with relatively happy marriages, like me, were indoctrinated with the "impressions are everything" state of mind.   I don't blame my previous inability to sustain a successful relationship solely on that upbringing (there were too many other factors that affected it) but it definitely played a part in who I am as a person.  To some degree, it still does.  the "need to put my best foot forward", to excel, the work ethic, the sociability are partially the Bell & Grubbs (Dad's & Mom's families) heritage and partially the Army brat that grew up inside me.

Now, don't get me wrong.  This does not mean that the things we learned and were exposed to were necessarily bad things.  They just were what they were.  What we take away from them depends on who each of us is inside and how we got there.   I  personally like to think that my life as an Army brat and my wonderful parents are what has made up the best part of me.  The screwed up parts – I'll just blame on my own choices and biology.

 So what were some of the things you believed in as a kid?  How have those beliefs changed?  How did they affect you?   What do you believe now?  Can't wait to hear what you have to say.

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Feelings of betrayal

We all experience feelings of betrayal at some point.  Most often these feelings are prompted by the action or inaction of someone in whom we have placed faith or expectations.  There are those times, like what I am feeling right now, when the betrayal comes not only from what the person has done, but also from their timing, delivery & attitude.   There are those people in our lives who can cut us to the quick with an insensitive word, a careless gesture or a forgotten promise.  

One of those people in my life has made a conscience choice to betray me.  I am sure he has reasons that to him seem logical and rational.  But that does not change the fact that he has chosen to take actions and behave in ways that he has to know will hurt me and leave me feeling rejected, angry and betrayed.  While I know I can not change what he is doing or his unknown reasons for doing this, I can not help but hope that he does know the affect he is having on me and that he feels some sense of responsibility and remorse. 

So what do we do when these people stomp on our minds and our hearts?  Do we lash back, withdrawn with whimpers, stand our ground?  It is so hard to know because the betrayal comes with pain, uncertainty, insecurity.  So who can tell me how to deal with the feelings I have right now?  With my desire to yell and scream, to cry foul at the actions of my betrayer while knowing full well that none of these actions will change anything.  How do I release these emotions in a constructive manner?    How do I deal with this person from this point on, knowing that they have become untrustworthy in my eyes and heart?   How do I accept that this person in whom I had placed such trust and caring can respect and care about me so little?

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The promise of a bright day

The promise of a bright day
Originally uploaded by glokbell

I took this photo on my way into work on Jan 3rd. There was something about the sky that morning that said this would be not only a good day, but a good year. So each day, I look at this picture and remember the promise that morning held. It has changed my attitude when I could not imagine that things would ever be better.
The promise delivered by the sunlight coming through those clouds that morning convinced me that my life will change for the better. In this first week of this new year, I've also learned this day, this year, this life, this promise will not come about without an effort, a push, a solid knowledge and belief that only I can make these things happen. It is my attitude, my desire, my passion and my ambition that will make this a better year. That I will reach my goals and have my desires. So on I go with the promise this sunrise brought and making each day begin with that same promising future.

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