emotions

An open letter to my Tweeple ….

This past weekend, I was talking with a friend and repeating to her the story of a funny Twitter exchange I had been a part of earlier in the week.  She found the tale amusing, but asked how I knew the person that I had been talking with.  Apparently, in my joy I had failed to mention to her that this was a "friend" from Twitter.  Now she has heard me mention Twitter before, how could she not have. I extol its virtues to anyone that I can get to half listen.  The explanation that this conversation had been held with someone I have never met in person, yet feel that I know,  prompted additional questions from her about the people I encounter on Twitter and their place in my life.

My conversation with this RL friend initiated some in depth thinking about the people I interact with on Twitter.   I realized that there are those who I enjoy following for their insight.  Others for the business information/advice they provide.  There are those who amuse me with their witty banter.  Common interests tie some of us together  And there are others who I have been drawn to call my friends because of their personalities.   My friend asked me how I could possibly consider someone that I have never met a a "friend".   I explained to her that while my on-line friends may not the be same as my real life friends.   We may not "hang out" in person, but we do "hang out" on Twitter.  My conversations with my Tweeples are as poignant, emotional, intellectual, charming and cheerful as those I have sitting next my RL friends on my couch or at a restaurant table.  

SO I examine the relationships I have built on Twitter and the things that Twitter has brought into my life.

I have received and continue to receive an education more varied than I could possibly receive anywhere else.  I encounter people who are brilliant and who astonish me on a regular basis with their knowledge, skills and ability, as well as their willingness to openly share their nuggets of wisdom with the rest of the Twitter world.

There are some of the people I follow that I can guarantee will always bring a smile to my face.  There are those days, when things are just plain wonky and I know that all I have to do is log in to Twitter and scroll down to see the silly new avatars or the tweets from my favorite Twitter comedians.

Those Twitterites who share my interests are always there with a new problem, solution or perspective on our various topics of interest.

And there is everyone else who are part of my follow/following circle.  Some of them I just find interesting.  The rest are not only smart, funny and interesting but are people with whom I have come to share a bond, consider my friends and am honored to say that I know.  We have been drawn together by an interest in each other, our lives, our families.  I feel  privileged that they have chosen me to be among the ones that they share their joys, tears, happiness and fears.  The joy of watching their children learn and grow.  The triumphs of their businesses, as well as their insecurities along the way.  Their relationships, health, exploits, struggles and their achievements.  These people have brought feeling and attitudes into my realm that add extra dimension to my life.  The wonderful thing is that these people have shown the depth of their characters by being there for moral support and amusement when I need those things brought into my life.

So to all of my Tweeples, THANK YOU.  I am appreciative of the opportunity you have given me to share with you.
And Twitter, THANK YOU for making it possible for me to find a world beyond my own that contains such wonderful people.

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Getting in touch with our inner children

I was fortunate enough to recently spend 3 days on a cruise to the Bahamas with about 50 of the people I went to high school with. First you need to know something about my high school.  Zama High School was located on Camp Zama army base in Japan.  We had a mix of army & navy brats and the children of civilians who worked for the military.  We were a diverse group, born in all corners of the world.  As is typical for schools on military bases it was very small, I think there was about 300 people in the entire school (9th through 12th grade) the year I graduated.  Since Zama's graduating classes are small and we are spread all over the world, how do you have a high school reunion?  Simple, our alumni association holds a "whole school" reunion every 2 years.  This reunion is for anyone who every attended the school, graduate or not.  The reunions are held as 3 day weekends in different places all over the US.   From those reunions grew our annual 1980's decade mini-reunions. Think about it, when you were in high school, did you only have friends in your class?  No, we all had friends younger & older.  We have the perfect way to stay in touch with all of them.  Which is what brought us all to Jan 25-28, 2008 and the cruise ship Carnival Fascination. Alumni, some spouses and significant others, some families,  we gathered together to share a few days of reliving our childhoods.

So what happens when you take a bunch of teenagers who have all grown up with similar backgrounds and put them in a small environment in a foreign country.  You end with some very unique relationships.  Intense & deep run the emotions that form the base for these interactions.   Then take these relationships and tear them up and down on a regular basis – such is the life of a military family.   You have taken people at vulnerable steps in their formation as adults and entrenched in them the ability to love deeper than most and the ability to hold onto those emotions despite separations and disappointments.  These are the amazing people who result from that kind of background.

Now fast forward a few years.  There are ones who have stayed in close contact and others who are just finding the alumni association and their old friends.  The one thing that is consistent is the affection we feel for one another.  Any of the old high school acrimony seems to melt away as soon as those old familiar faces are in view. 
The memories become happy.  The teenage heartaches that we thought would kill us then are now fodder for sweet laughter. Old friendships are strengthened, high school acquaintances become new friendships and occasionally high school crushes are resurrected.  For 3 days (or more when we can manage it), we are our young selves again, older & a little wiser, but in so many ways still the wonder filled teenagers we were in the 1980's.  In those 3 days, which are generally filled with great food, much alcohol and inevitably a karaoke machine, we apply another layer of emotional cement to the relationships that started so many years ago.   We rediscover all of the things that were so good and right about us and the people we care about.   Most often being with these people brings out the best in us once more.   Now I can never say for sure if it is nostalgia, selective memories or just an alcoholic haze, but it is as if all of the promise those days held is one again laid out before us, we are invincible and as long as we are together, all will always be right with the world.      So, world be prepared, we will all be back together in New Orleans in July…..

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Curve balls

So what do you do when life throws you several curve balls at one time.  The last several months have been one new pitch after another and all of them have been been right across the plate sliders and curves.  I'm to the point that I want to stop swinging and just strike out.   Don't ask me where the baseball analogies are coming from.  Especially since I am more of a football girl, but I think you get the idea. 
I'm getting dizzy trying to figure out which direction to look to keep things from falling on my head and knocking my knees out from underneath me. 
It has made me start to wonder about just how much emotional upheaval a person can take before they break. What determines that?  Is is in our DNA, our upbringing or just something else?  Can it be changed through sheer determination?  I wish I knew or that someone could tell me.  I live everyday with the realities of being bi-polar and have to wonder if that plays a role in just how much it would take to break me.  I do know what it feels like to break.  To feel that you are at the bottom of a very deep, dark hole and not to know how to climb out.  Does anyone else feel that way just before they know that they can't handle any more?
I've watched friends come through events and situations that would make some people shudder.  Yet, they seem to find their way through it with grace and dignity, never seeming to come close to cracking.  I envy them.
So how do we know just how much we can take until we get to a point that we can not take anymore?  It seems to be the only way to find out just where our breaking point is.  There has to be a better way.  Now how do I find it and can I juggle the balls that are being thrown at me in the meantime.  Or am I am going to get hit in the head with a fast ball?

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