family

I am a Military Brat ….

This was passed on to me by an Army Brat friend. It so clearly expresses what is in my heart also

I am a Military Brat

My hometown is nowhere, my friends are everywhere. I grew up with the knowledge that home is where the heart is and the family….

Mobility is my way of life. Some would wonder about roots, yet they are as deep and strong as the mighty oak. I sink them quickly, absorbing all an area offers and hopefully, giving enrichment in return.

Travel has taught me to be open. Shaking hands with the universe, I find brotherhood in all men. Farewells are never easy. Yet, even in sorrow comes strength and ability to face tomorrow with anticipation….if when we leave one place, I feel that half my world is left behind. I also know that the other half is waiting to be met.

Friendships are formed in hours and kept for decades. I will never grow up with someone, but I will mature with many. Be it inevitable that paths part, there is constant hope that they will meet again.

Oh say can we see
Oh say can we see

Love of country, respect and pride fill my being when Old Glory passes in review. When I stand to honor that flag, so also do I stand in honor of all soldiers, and most especially, to the parents whose lives created mine. Because of this, I have shared in the rich heritage of Military life.


Anonymous

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Things we believed as kids, part 1

This is going to be a periodic post about the things we believed as children and young adults – or at least some of the things I believed…. Dear reader, please excuse how rambling and disconnected some of these thoughts may seem, they are more words from the heart than the head…  I was having a conversation the other day with a very dear friend that I had not seen or talked to in a very, very long time.  Our reminiscing brought up some thoughts that have been the inspiration for this and probably a lot of posts to come ….

Like a lot of kids, I used to believe that the older people were, the better decisions that they made.  Every year we got smarter and made better, more reasoned decisions. My parents and grandparents were the smartest of all.  Of course, you only believe that part until you are about 16, then you are not so sure, but you still want to believe.  LOL

Of course I believed that the older you were the better decisions you made, I was raised/conditioned (whatever you want to call it)  to believe that, even more than so than "civilian" (non-military) kids. Not only did we (military brats, in general) have the normal childhood/young adult trust & belief in those older than us, but the hierarchy system we grew up in significantly reinforced that.  The older you were, the higher rank you were likely to be, so you must be smarter and more trustworthy.   I still struggle with that mindset sometimes.  There were so many very different, both good and bad, things about the way we as military brats were raised and the environment we were exposed to, it should be expected that we would have a slightly skewed vision of life.

 

Our views on relationships, marriage and family are just one example of that.  When we were kids, how many of our military friends were divorced or single parents in comparison to the norm? I don't know the percentages, but I would imagine it is significantly lower.  My take is that we were given some false impressions of what marriage and family should be about.  A lot of us had parents who behind closed doors hated each other or were miserable together, but because of what the military expected of them and the benefits of the military lifestyle (especially the officers) they would never consider splitting up.  Even those of us who had parents with relatively happy marriages, like me, were indoctrinated with the "impressions are everything" state of mind.   I don't blame my previous inability to sustain a successful relationship solely on that upbringing (there were too many other factors that affected it) but it definitely played a part in who I am as a person.  To some degree, it still does.  the "need to put my best foot forward", to excel, the work ethic, the sociability are partially the Bell & Grubbs (Dad's & Mom's families) heritage and partially the Army brat that grew up inside me.

Now, don't get me wrong.  This does not mean that the things we learned and were exposed to were necessarily bad things.  They just were what they were.  What we take away from them depends on who each of us is inside and how we got there.   I  personally like to think that my life as an Army brat and my wonderful parents are what has made up the best part of me.  The screwed up parts – I'll just blame on my own choices and biology.

 So what were some of the things you believed in as a kid?  How have those beliefs changed?  How did they affect you?   What do you believe now?  Can't wait to hear what you have to say.

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QotD: Guest vs. Host

For a full sit-down dinner with several guests, would you rather be the one cooking or do you prefer to just show up and eat?

I prefer to be the one cooking.  I love to cook, but there is something about fixing a big dinner for friends and family that is such an expression of love.  Good friends, loving family, good wine, good food makes for a perfect day.

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Changes & challenges

It seems that 2 words can describe my life lately – changes & challenges.  In the last few months, I have changed where I live, who I live with, my vision of the future and of how I see myself.  All of those changes have come with challenges — sometimes as major as just being able to get out of bed in the morning, sometimes as minor as trying to figure out where and how to hang a picture.  Today brought about another major change.  A person that I thought would be my friend forever has decided that it is better for him to end our relationship.  And this week brings up 2 more major challenges.  Facing the first birthday I have had alone in a lot of years and to top it off, it is my 42nd birthday.   The day after that I start out on my 3-day, 60 mile adventure in the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day.

So how do I face these challenges and the many more that will come into my life?  I wish I knew.  I wish that there was a guaranteed plan to tell me what to do when each change comes along and when I have to face each challenge. So far, none has shown up.  Everyone keeps telling me that there is not a manual.   At this point I am only putting one foot in front of the other.  Or some mornings, one foot out of bed.  I can honestly say that if it were not for my sons and my friends, I would not even be doing that.   The thought of my sons having to face being without me is what makes me keep going.  My friends are the ones who give me the support, encouragement, love, shoulders to lean and cry on and just, in general, keep me upright.

Well, to face the most recent change, I guess I just move on.  I can't force someone to want to be a part of my life. (As much as I would like to be able to.)  The most recent challenges are another thing though.   My birthday – I would like to just say I will forget about it, but birthdays have always been a big deal in my family, so they are to me too.  Once again some of my friends come to the rescue.  They are making sure that I don't spend my birthday alone.  Dad and (what a nice surprise), Sis came through too – the cards are already here.

Friday morning dawns very early for the other big challenge of my week – the 3-Day.  Fortunately, one of my dearest friends will be by my side as we take off on our little hike.  It is a really challenging undertaking, but one so very worth every step.  (See my earlier post on why I walk)

Thursday night, as I celebrate my birthday, my friends and I will raise a toast and mine will be to changes and challenges and finding the strength and faith to get through them.  To my friends, my sons and the rest of my family.  Thank you for being there to make sure I get through all of these things.

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QotD: Via Snail Mail

When did you last write/receive a handwritten, snail-mail letter? Who was it to/from? 
Submitted by Places Unknown.

Every year on my birthday, I receive several cards from my parents and my aunts (Mom's sisters) with wonderful, sweet notes in them reminding me how much I am loved.  My Mom is gone now and my wonderful Dad and aunts carry on the tradition.  As wonderful as e-mail and instant access is, these are the little things that should never be lost.   In the same vain as this question, I try and make sure that my children and my significant other receive the same type of notes and/or cards from me at least on their birthday, but as often as possible.

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QotD: Total Trust

Who would you trust with your life?

Anyone in my family, that pretty much goes without saying.  I come from a large family and though we may not always agree and may let too long go between communicating, we will always be there for each other.  No matter what.
And the precious few people that I can truly call my friends.  Not my acquaintances, not those people who I just hang out with, but those wonderful few people, they know who they are, that are always there for me when it is good or bad.  I've learned that these people, I would lay my life down for and they have earned my full trust also. 

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The importance of passion

Lately I have begun to really understand the true importance of passion in our lives.  The many levels, many forms of passion.  (in no particular order)

The passion we have to have for life.  If you think about what life is without some reason to exist, something that makes us wake up in the morning – that is a life without passion.

The passion of the world around us.  Just think for a moment how amazing it is that we exist, that a flower is the color it is, the heights that our technology has reached.  It is mindboggleling and must be revered with all the awe we can muster.

The passion we have for our jobs – I'm learning this one because I am the process of starting my own business.   I finally feel the passion that I have always searched for in my work life.

The passion we have for our children, our family and our friends – the older I become the more I understand how much we need these people and how passionate we have to be about keeping them close to us and making sure they know how very much they mean to us.  Life without these people is lonely existence.

The passion we have with our spouses or significant others – having been in both situations and by observing others.  I am finally starting to understand that passion is not just about the physical reaction we may have to these people.  Not that the physical passion is not important, it is, a caring, satisfying physical relationship can be the base to build an intimacy and closeness that will support a solid partnership. But it also about the passion the partnership itself.  The passion we develop for our supporter, our confidante, our lover and our best friend. 

And how different our lives are when those family, friends, spouses or significant others are no longer a part of our lives.   When that passion is no longer glowing and lighting our way through life.

A life lived without passion is a life not worth living.  It is a slow walk through the fright-filled swamp that is a life with no meaning, no direction.

So today, go out and celebrate your passion.  Tell someone you love them.  Bask in the sun that shines on your face.  Hug a child or a pet.   Gaze upon the face of those you love and commit them to memory for the day they are no longer here.  Love, live and laugh.

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