goals

My 3 Words – 2015 edition

I stopped making resolutions when I turned 40. All I was doing was setting myself up for failure.  I stopped having carved in concrete goals within a year or two of that.  Because every time I did my life became the epitome of the old saying “want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans”.  Instead, I tried to find something that would give me direction and put structure around my goals for the year without making me carve them in stone and set myself up for disappointment.  Something that would allow me to lay a path that was flexible enough to allow for inevitable change, but clear enough to keep me on the right trail.

Then my wonderful Twitterverse of friends exposed me to the annual My Three Words and I had my blueprint.

My words for 2014  – tolerance, listening and reading/writing – ending up being somewhat prophetic for what the year was going to bring.  2014 required a lot of tolerance, a lot of listening and consisted of a lot of reading, but not as much writing as I would have liked.

Following in the tradition I started in 2013, I let my three words come to me as I envisioned what I wanted from 2015.  They couldn’t be just any three words though.  They had to be words that embodied an overall attitude for 2015 and words that implied or would move me to action.

So here are My Three Words for 2015 –

Words – This is essentially a evolution of Reading/Writing from 2014. I want to absorb and share more words.  I want to read more.   I want to read many different things.  I want to re-read some of the classics and my old favorites.  I want to read the Bible cover to cover again and really absorb it this time.  I want to write more. I want to finally take all the things that are in my head whether it is inspiration, musings, marketing and social media opinions or fictional stories and share them with the world.  Lastly, I want to do more public speaking.  Having spent a year away from it, I realize how much I really love speaking, training and educating.  I have made a commitment to myself to do more of it this year.

 

Service – I learned this year the difference between saying you want to be of service to others and actually, actively, selflessly being of service to others.  I have always tried to be of service to others, but this past year put me squarely into it.  I realized that making the time and effort and going after opportunities to be of service is different than doing it when it comes your way.  I want to do more of the first and will still accept opportunities that come the second way.

Another lesson that I have committed myself to this year is learning to let others be of service to me.  I have always been the one that took care of everything and everyone, fixed everything, did it myself because it was easier/quicker than counting on someone else to do it.  This year that changes. I will allow others to be of service to me.  I will not rob them of the opportunity to give of themselves.  I know how satisfying it feels to do so.  It is time I let go and give others the space to feel the same way.  I will not stop being a caretaker.  It is who I am.  I will start allowing others to also take care of me.  This one will not be easy, but it is necessary.

 

Routine – This is one of those concepts that I know what it means to me but it may be a bit hard to describe to someone else.  The last few years have been a unpredictable mish-mosh of being in a routine and not being in one depending on the needs of others – friends, clients, loved ones, volunteer commitments, etc…  This last year has held a completely different kind of routine interrupted by frequent detours.  In 2015, I want to start figuring out the routine that suits me best.  Having a routine of working, speaking, reading, writing, exercising, cooking, sitting still…whatever it is, I want to figure out the rhythm of MY life and then add in all of these other things to it.  I have always worked best and been happiest with a little structure in my life.  For me, routine is not about only being structured.  This year it is going to be about having the time, energy and focus to accomplish the things I set out to do and that still allow me to roll with spontaneity, joy, excitement and a need for stillness.


What are your words for 2015?  How can I help you with achieving them? 

 

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Promises to myself, Part 1

This post is titled, part 1 because it is going to be the first of many about promises that I am making or have made to myself (see my 43 things link) – this one is a simple promise, or hopefully will be a simple promise, I am going to post something on my blog everyday. I don't promise prize-winning prose, but this activity does help clear my head and seems to give some order to my life, so doing it daily might help to make sense of some of the senselessness that is swirling around me.

I have spent a lot of time in the last several months thinking about my life, where it has been, where it is going and primarily what do I want out of it.  I still don't know. Sometimes I am so certain what I want, sometimes it just all seems to be dreams floating on air.  I decided that it is time to take back control of my life.  Somewhere in the last couple of years, I seem to let my life slip out of my hands.  Oh, if I am being honest, I have opened them wide open, laid my palms flat and let go. There are a lot of reasons and a lot of excuses.  Sometimes a single thing is both a reason and an excuse.  Now the next step in re-taking control is to sort out which is a reason and which is an excuse. 

The Secret
The Secret

A friend of mine has recommended that I read this book. She says it has given her a new perspective on how to approach getting the meaning out of life that she is looking for.  So, I have a copy, I'll give a try.  I'll let you know how it turns out.  If it makes sense and touches me or gives me that "A-ha" moment, don't be surprised to find it under your Christmas tree.

I'm rather excited by this "adventure" I am making myself start out on.  Yesterday (and a good portion of the days before that), I spent on the verge of tears, feeling alone, unloveable, abandoned and completely lost and confused.  I am not sure that changed overnight, but something did.  I've always been a believer in the power of prayer and maybe it was just that quick little one that flitted through my mind as I drifted to sleep.  I like to think that was what it was that allowed me to wake up with this new sense.  Whatever it was, I'm happy that it is here.  I know that every day will not feel like this, especially with the holidays coming.  The first that I will spend alone in 13 years (10 with Terry and 3 with Bart).  I was really feeling that loneliness until I realized that I am not alone unless I want to be.   So, I will have good days and bad and my goal each day will be to learn something from each of those days.  I have to start being the glass half-full girl more often than I have been lately.  Wish me luck! 

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Goals

If you look down on the right side of my page, you will see a link to 43 Things.  I was just playing on the internet and came across this site.  The concept is that you can write yourself up to 43 goals.  They can be as minor or as major as you want.  The fun part is that you can also set "how are you doing" reminders.  You can also see other people who are working on the same goals you are and comments they have made on their progress. 

With all of the changes, transitions and turmoil my life has been through lately, it was cleansing to sit for that 1/2 hour thinking about some of the things I want to accomplish.  I only have 17 things on my list right now, but each day I think of something new that I know I should add. 

Why did 43 things appeal to me?  Because it puts my goals out there.  In a unique way it makes them public and in a strange way, it makes them feel more real.  I have always had these goals and have never really seemed to be able to make much progress accomplishing them.  Now, I have to deal with the knowledge that if I don't work on these goals, I won't be able to mark them off my list.  I don't know why having them posted makes them more real.  I can't begin to explain why they feel that way.  I only know that they do and that makes me happy.  They have become something solid, not the abstracts "I'll get around to it" that have floated in my mind for all of these years. 

Now, I just have to make myself continue to make progress on those goals.  I have set some pretty aggressive personal goals and deadlines.  Now to move forward.

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