Changes & challenges

It seems that 2 words can describe my life lately – changes & challenges.  In the last few months, I have changed where I live, who I live with, my vision of the future and of how I see myself.  All of those changes have come with challenges — sometimes as major as just being able to get out of bed in the morning, sometimes as minor as trying to figure out where and how to hang a picture.  Today brought about another major change.  A person that I thought would be my friend forever has decided that it is better for him to end our relationship.  And this week brings up 2 more major challenges.  Facing the first birthday I have had alone in a lot of years and to top it off, it is my 42nd birthday.   The day after that I start out on my 3-day, 60 mile adventure in the Susan G Komen Breast Cancer 3-Day.

So how do I face these challenges and the many more that will come into my life?  I wish I knew.  I wish that there was a guaranteed plan to tell me what to do when each change comes along and when I have to face each challenge. So far, none has shown up.  Everyone keeps telling me that there is not a manual.   At this point I am only putting one foot in front of the other.  Or some mornings, one foot out of bed.  I can honestly say that if it were not for my sons and my friends, I would not even be doing that.   The thought of my sons having to face being without me is what makes me keep going.  My friends are the ones who give me the support, encouragement, love, shoulders to lean and cry on and just, in general, keep me upright.

Well, to face the most recent change, I guess I just move on.  I can't force someone to want to be a part of my life. (As much as I would like to be able to.)  The most recent challenges are another thing though.   My birthday – I would like to just say I will forget about it, but birthdays have always been a big deal in my family, so they are to me too.  Once again some of my friends come to the rescue.  They are making sure that I don't spend my birthday alone.  Dad and (what a nice surprise), Sis came through too – the cards are already here.

Friday morning dawns very early for the other big challenge of my week – the 3-Day.  Fortunately, one of my dearest friends will be by my side as we take off on our little hike.  It is a really challenging undertaking, but one so very worth every step.  (See my earlier post on why I walk)

Thursday night, as I celebrate my birthday, my friends and I will raise a toast and mine will be to changes and challenges and finding the strength and faith to get through them.  To my friends, my sons and the rest of my family.  Thank you for being there to make sure I get through all of these things.

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1 Comment

  1. It must be that I barely known you when you posted this – and I didn't know this blog existed then. I think I date everything from when I got my cancer diagnosis – and this was before that. So I didn't know the story – or if I did it was only on the edges of my consciousness. I'm sorry I didn't know that you were having such a hard time – because of you – and because I really do identify. This would have been something I'd said if I'd known – but it really struck home when you said the part about putting one foot in front of the other – oh yes..I wont say we share the same exact heartaches but it's hard to lose friends who willingly withdraw from our lives – or people we mistakenly think are people we are close to – who turn out to be something else and find us utterly disposable. I use the word because I've felt like that lately fairly often after having been dumped by "the fun crowd" on twitter that comprised such a big part of my distraction and "fun" even when I was stuck in bed..Sometimes losing people we're in relationships with is something I never get over. Husbands, lovers, friends, family – all take chunks out of my heart when they move away from my life, You however have guts – or you wouldnt walk 60 miles for example. No matter what life throws at you somehow you've got what it takes, and friends and family to come through for you – especially important that they are people you can be with in person to give you a hug and tell you how special you are to all of us.

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